Photo: Courtesy of Hostess
In celebration of the infamous 7-Eleven day, a day where every 7-Eleven in the nation hands out diabetes by the fistful, Hostess has collaborated with the internationally known convenience store chain to bring you a Cherry Slushie flavored Twinkie. A treat so stupid, it’ll be impossible for it not to sell.
I’ve been lucky, very lucky. Before this product even made its way to my glazed over eyeballs, I’ve never had a Twinkie. Yes, for the 19 years that I’ve been alive on this earth, I’ve never had the displeasure of shoving one of those cream filled sponges in my esophagus. And no, it’s not because I’m an incredibly healthy person, it’s because the thought of eating a Twinkie has always, always, always grossed me out.
But on the other hand, I love Slushies. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always associated slushies with summer. As soon as school was out and the weather started to peak above 80, my family traveled to the nearest gas station and bought slushies. I preferred them over any other kind of cold treat. Ice cream made me sick if I ate it long enough and I wasn’t the biggest fan of snow cones, but slushies were the perfect middle ground.
You should’ve seen my face when I walked into the store, I was flabbergasted. Was this a social experiment by some corporate proxy to test once and for all if consumers would really buy anything? The answer was yes, I bought it. The gimmick was stupid enough to work on me. I also bought a regular Twinkie as well. Why buy this new special edition Twinkie without having tried the original first? Why not hate my body and my wallet as well?
As I took the melted stick out of its flimsy plastic packaging, the first thing that caught me was the smell. It smells EXACTLY like a cherry Slushie which on one hand is a good thing, but I couldn’t help to think about what kind of chemicals they put in here to make it that way.
After the wave of cherry scenting, I placed my lips around the cream filled pastry and it was gross, go figure. It was not false advertising, it tasted like a cherry Slushie too, but instead of having it in a nice and refreshing beverage, you were having it in one of the worst snacks to grace the planet.
The spongy texture did not bode well with the filling this time around and instead felt like you were trying to eat the remnants of a Slushie from somebody's hands.
I give this product a solid 3/10, the gimmick was not worth the $3 I spent on it, but you know what? It tasted like a cherry Slushie.
